Many people think they “should” be good at something. Whether it’s having patience, or strong communication skills, or better professional skills, there seems to be this idea that there is a benchmark for each stage in our life in regards to abilities, and yet these benchmarks are created internally. Almost as if we are failing at something while still learning, and then being harsh with ourselves as a result.

One of the things I like about yoga (no, I’m not a yoga pusher, I think it’s wonderful for me but I understand it’s not for everyone) is that you are never truly a “yoga master” or “good at yoga”. You are continually in a state of learning. It’s called a “yoga practice” because you are always within your learning process and developing at your own pace. It’s not a competition, the only thing that matters is what is happening on your own yoga mat.

Using the concepts of “practice” and “learning process”, can you think of spaces in your life where you are judging yourself harshly based on either an internal benchmark or comparisons with other people and what they are doing? Can you take a moment to look at what those internal benchmarks are really doing for you and allow yourself to remember that you are still in your learning process? What would it feel like to allow yourself to learn rather then expect yourself to know things right off the bat and then judge yourself for it?

I read an article (several years ago now) that really resonated with me at the time and became one of those things that I’d ponder every so often and was frequently reminded of the ideas it made me consider. I thought one way I could continue to process the idea of setting goals or intentions or whatever you call them, would be to add a really good metaphor about how to give things up that no longer serve you. So I recently reread this article and again it made me think about the changes everyone has navigated since the first time I read it. Not only did we have to make changes to our lives several years ago, we’ve continued to be forced to make changes every day since then. At first I hesitated to share this piece because 1) it has bad language in it and I respect that not everyone is as chill about language as therapists may be and 2) because it’s wordy and flowery and exactly the kind of thing I enjoy reading but imposing my own likes on people I’m working with feels some kind of way, and 3) it’s about the pandemic and some people find that really hard to read about and would rather just move on.

Anyway, I am going counselor-rogue and opting to share it with you and I hope you will read it. It is about the pandemic and one woman’s experience and although she has some parts to her story that may not feel completely familiar to you, as well as the fact that it was written a few years ago now, I think we can all identify with her bread issue. As you read it, I hope you’ll get a sense that her bread can be a metaphor and may represent something completely different to you. You know why she’s talking about bread because you were there for the pandemic’s start as well and saw (or participated in) the bread making, but in your own life, what was your bread? What was the thing that stood out to you at first and became a symbol to you (and possibly only you) in regards to whether you were a “successful” pandemic person? How do you feel about your bread looking back now several years later? Have your opinions regarding your bread changed or do you view it differently now or are you still chasing your bread? Can you link this concept of your bread to the goals you set last week for yourself? Read it and let me know, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Read it here.