Journal Prompt: Exploring Growth vs Fixed Mindsets

One thing we talk about quite a bit as therapists is the idea of a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset. What are those? I can pretty quickly explain.  A fixed mindset is the concept or belief that something is the way it is.  People who speak or think in fixed mindsets use words such as always and never, the use phrases such as “this is just the way it is in my family”, and they act in resistant ways when approached about a new subject.  A growth mindset is basically the opposite of that.  It’s when someone is open to new ideas and new concepts and can be open to them even when they don’t feel comfortable or familiar.  Think about food and little kids.  If you put a piece of broccoli (my personal favorite food) in front of many kids, you will see them make the yuck face and push the plate away.  That’s the fixed mindset, without even trying it, the kids think it’s gross.  But some kids are a little more adventurous with food and may sniff at it or take a little bite and then decide if it is something they like.  Whether it becomes part of their food repertoire  or not, they were open to the idea of it, which is similar to the concept of growth mindset.  

People who have a growth mindset:

-Know progress takes time

-Keep trying until the feel they have succeeded

-Love learning

-Ask for help

-Learn from feedback

-Feel and notice inspiration

-Are not afraid to fail a bit

-Work very hard at things

-Love a challenge

-View things from an opportunity lens rather than a risk or obligation lens

Sounds good right?  This list sounds like the kind of person we all like spending time with because they’re full of interesting stories and experiences.  But you don't have to quit your job and become a professional skydiver (unless you want to of course) in order to develop a growth mindset.  The easiest way to start thinking in that direction is to take notice of how many never/always statements run through your head any given day.  How many times do you find yourself thinking “absolutely not” or “no way”.  Sometimes those are warranted, I will admit I get quite a few requests from my kids on a day to day basis that leave me in the “that will absolutely never happen” mindset, kids are good at bringing that out in their parents sometimes.  

But in terms of day to day experiences, whether that is at work or with friends or maybe around a project you’ve wanted to tackle, look at how you think about it.  If you’ve decided you want to clean out your closet but keep thinking “it’s such a huge task, it’ll take forever” you are using a fixed mindset.  What about if you thought of it in a way such as “It’s a big task, but I bet I’ll find some things I forgot I had, and I may even be able to get rid of enough stuff that my closet will be easier to keep tidy”.  That’s a growth mindset around the same issue.  After you’ve had a bit of time to identify some fixed mindset patterns that you have, take a moment to rework them into what they’d look like if you utilized a growth mindset and see what feelings that brings up in you.  Have fun with it, even if you “never enjoy journaling”. 

Journal Prompt: Pandemic Reflections and Goal Setting

I read an article (several years ago now) that really resonated with me at the time and became one of those things that I’d ponder every so often and was frequently reminded of the ideas it made me consider. I thought one way I could continue to process the idea of setting goals or intentions or whatever you call them, would be to add a really good metaphor about how to give things up that no longer serve you.  So I recently reread this article and again it made me think about the changes everyone has navigated since the first time I read it. Not only did we have to make changes to our lives several years ago, we’ve continued to be forced to make changes every day since then.  At first I hesitated to share this piece because 1) it has bad language in it and I respect that not everyone is as chill about language as therapists may be and 2) because it’s wordy and flowery and exactly the kind of thing I enjoy reading but imposing my own likes on people I’m working with feels some kind of way, and 3) it’s about the pandemic and some people find that really hard to read about and would rather just move on.

Anyway, I am going counselor-rogue and opting to share it with you and I hope you will read it.  It is about the pandemic and one woman’s experience and although she has some parts to her story that may not feel completely familiar to you, as well as the fact that it was written a few years ago now, I think we can all identify with her bread issue.  As you read it, I hope you’ll get a sense that her bread can be a metaphor and may represent something completely different to you.  You know why she’s talking about bread because you were there for the pandemic’s start as well and saw (or participated in) the bread making, but in your own life, what was your bread?  What was the thing that stood out to you at first and became a symbol to you (and possibly only you) in regards to whether you were a “successful” pandemic person?  How do you feel about your bread looking back now several years later?  Have your opinions regarding your bread changed or do you view it differently now or are you still chasing your bread? Can you link this concept of your bread to the goals you set last week for yourself?  Read it and let me know, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Read it here.

Journal Prompt: Finding Personal Acceptance

The artwork that therapists keep in their offices is highly personal and often very thoughtfully placed. When I’m sitting in my office, right in front of me is a piece of art that I put up that has a quote on it that resonates with me in terms of how I view my clients and what I hope for them.  Maybe it resonates with you as well.  It’s a quote by Dodinsky that says:

“May you fall into your own arms. May you speak the words you need to hear. May you have gratitude with each breath. May you build your dreams with faith. May you embrace your soul with kindness. May you bring wisdom from your past. May you choose peace instead of anger. May you see the light in your darkest night. May you stumble upon yourself when lost. May you uncover courage beneath these fears. May you accept mistakes with humility. May you practice forgiveness to heal wounds. May you see the beauty of your imperfections. May you find love within your own heart.”   - Dodinsky

Reading through that, is there one part that really speaks to you?  Or do you think you can find a way to incorporate one part into each of your days?  Maybe it could be a goal of yours to journal or reflect on at least one sentence from that weekly or even daily (if you’re feeling ambitious).  As you go through the time between now and our next session, I want you to try and take at least one sentence from there and reflect on it and then write how it impacted your week or day.  Think about whether that sentence is something you chose because it is something that is so prevalent in your life or maybe because it is something that is missing and you need to incorporate it into your experience in a more deliberate way.  And then write a little bit about your thoughts.