So you think your child might benefit from some mindfulness, but don't know where to start. Maybe your little one has limited impulse control or has a hard time processing difficult situations and you've heard that mindfulness can help, but have no idea what it is or how to "do" mindfulness. No worries, you probably already do it in some way without even realizing it. The act of mindfulness is fairly simple. It's actively and purposefully being aware of the current moment without judgment. Mindfulness doesn't need a fancy place to sit, or any type of specific clothes or equipment, it just needs you to take notice of your present situation.
For example, anyone who knows me knows I take a lot of pictures. I'm a hobbyist photographer and can often be found crawling around on the ground taking pictures of a bug or sneaking up on my kids/cat/dog/husband trying to capture them without them knowing. I've had more than one neighbor pull up alongside my hastily parked car along a local country road and ask me if I need a ride home while I'm completely engrossed in snapping a picture of the light in the trees, trash along the road, or some other object that has caught my eye. Photography is my mindfulness. Whatever I'm capturing with my camera, I'm not trying to manipulate or change or judge in any way, I'm simply noticing it and capturing it as is in that moment. This is something I've worked on for years and obviously not everyone has an interest in photography and so one very simple way to practice mindfulness is to focus on your breathing, since your breath is always with you.*
So how do you focus on your breath? What does that mean and how can we teach our children to do this? Well, obviously you could send them to yoga and mindfulness classes and someone like me will teach them LOTS of methods to do this with all sorts of tricks and tips to make is something they can do on their own in the moment they need it most. Buuuuut, that's not always doable so here's my little cheat sheet for you to do on your own. If you use it, whether it works or not, please let me know! I love feedback and to connect with new people!
Find a reasonably quiet place to sit. If you're at home with other people in the house, this may be challenging, so maybe go outside or upstairs or where ever is a little bit quieter. It doesn't have to be silent, just maybe not smack in the heart of your home during homework time. Sit criss cross applesauce if that's comfortable. If it's not, find a position that works for you. Rest your hands lightly in your lap or on your knees.
Close your eyes. This is uncomfortable for some children at first as they want to peek. It's ok if they peek and I've found that after the initial giggles wear off, if you stick with it, they will too. Give it a full minute or two and eventually they will settle and close their eyes. Be patient, wait it out.
Take a deep breath through your nose. Fill your chest as if your ribs are growing out to the sides and fill your belly as if it is a balloon. Then release the breath. Notice where you felt it most. Maybe your nose or your chest or your belly.
Take another deep breath. Once again notice where you felt it most this time. Did you feel it in the same place or someplace different? What is the temperature and any other noticeable factors of the air as it enters your body? If you're sitting outside on a cool fall evening, the air might be quite different than if you're on a beach in the middle of the summer or downstairs in your family room.
Take one more breath. See if you can make your exhale longer than your inhale. Was that comfortable for you or did it make your breathing feel forced? Either way, notice that without judging it or thinking you're doing it wrong.
If at any moment your focus floats away from your breathing, notice that. It's interesting what pops into our minds the minute we sit for a second, isn't it? Ok, now refocus back to your breathing. The more times you do this, noticing when your mind wanders and bringing it back to your breathing, the better you'll get at sustaining a longer mindfulness practice. You are building your brain's focusing muscles just by practicing this simple activity!
Now slowly open your eyes. Take a breath at your own pace however feels comfortable. Notice how your brain feels now. Any different? What's different and what's the same?
That's it. It's not complicated and this is only one simple little method, but it is challenging to take the time to do this and to teach it to our children. But just think of all the times you've said to your child, "Calm down. Take a breath." And now think how awesome it would be to say that to your child and for them to know exactly how to do just that.
xoxo -Meredith
*unless you are a zombie, and then I got nothin'. sorry.