So you’ve made the decision to find a therapist and you’ve already researched how to find one, but you’ve ended up with too many options and no clue where to start. I got ya, lets do this together.
First things first, counselors know that the most important part of a successful client-therapist relationship is rapport. There has to be a connection, a spark, a bit of trust, something. If it’s not there, odds are the client will stop scheduling sessions or the work will feel hollow. And how do we know if we have that vibe with our new therapist? We interview them! Most counselors will offer a free phone/virtual consultation so you can ask a few questions and get a feel for the kind of work they do. This isn’t a mini session, it’s a chance for you to ask them some questions and determine how they interact with their clients. If you don’t know what to ask, that’s ok, just say “I’m overwhelmed, can you just tell me a little bit about you and the work you do?” Counselors know you’re overwhelmed, they won’t think it’s weird to say that, why else would you be reaching out to us in the first place?
Ok, so next up is usually “How am I going to pay for this?” It’s a sad reality, but counseling isn’t free and insurance does a craptastic job of covering it. Why does therapy cost so much? Well, I’m sure many therapists have different answers and I can only answer for myself, but it’s because of how much we put into it. You’re not just paying for the 60 minutes of your therapist’s time. You’re paying for the multiple degrees, years of supervision, pages of experience, alphabet soup of letters after their name, and the knowledge of how to provide counseling rather than listening and giving advice. Those things take time and money and without them your counselor would be about as effective as that random aunt in your family who keeps asking you when you’re going to have a baby.
But I digress...there are some counselors who will take your insurance and that should cut back on the out of pocket cost to you. You may just have a copay, or if you’re in luck, no copay at all, and the therapist submits a claim to your insurance company and gets a reimbursement for their services. Other counselors may say they are “Out of Network” which means you pay them their full fee, but then a claim is submitted to your insurance company and a reimbursement check goes to you based on whatever your Out Of Network (OON) benefits are. Some therapists will help you with your OON claims and some will not, it really depends on the counselor’s personal desire to be involved with insurance at all.
What else should you look for in a therapist? Most counselors will list their specialties so finding one that seems to work with whatever you are facing is probably best. Whether it’s relationship issues, depression, financial concerns, career changes, anxiety, or just a general feeling of ennui about life, you can search for counselors by what they treat. You can also search for counselors who treat children/adolescents or only women or integrate faith into their treatment, or have accessible offices for people with disabilities. Want a counselor who has specific knowledge of a certain cultural group or who is an ally of the LGBTQ+ community, they’re out there. Or maybe one who speaks your native language? We have those too.
In addition, every Counselor has a Theoretical Approach that they follow. Many today will follow Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) but sometimes you’ll see they use additional theories in their work as well. For example, I am trained in CBT but I spent a lot of time working on Family Systems and Adlerian therapy during my training years and then I went on to be trained in Person Centered and Trauma Informed on my own. So working with me is a bit of a mish mosh, but in general I am very CBT guided. Maybe you’re looking for a more Psychoanalytic approach or someone who does Guided Imagery, you can absolutely ask any potential therapist about their approach and the work they do before you start.
Last but not least, I can’t say it enough, it’s the rapport that will be the most impactful. Take a minute after you have a brief chat with a potential counselor to check in with how the conversation felt to you. If you felt as if this person “heard” you and you think it could be a good fit, go for it. If not, call someone else. I’ve created a little checklist here for you to use in order to stay on track during your conversations because I know...we all know...it’s hard to make that initial call.
Good luck!