Welcome to 2023! We have been living in such a duality the past few years, navigating between risking our health and safety vs risking our version of normal. And I don’t think anyone can say that they’ve enjoyed this version of risk, most people are over it. But remember back before the pandemic when we thought about taking risks? Maybe it was about applying for a new job, or moving to a new home, or starting a new relationship. Or maybe it was as simple as reaching out to an old friend. Risk can be the idea of doing something scary, but within a controlled level of danger, such as riding roller coasters or watching scary movies that are sure to induce nightmares. So let’s think about that concept for a moment. Riding a roller coaster can be scary, but it’s (for the most part) a controlled environment and so the risk of actually endangering yourself is pretty minimal. You get all the thrill of the risk, with the knowledge you’ll probably come out of the experience perfectly fine.
But what about real risks, ones that could impact your livelihood or your family’s? I want you to focus on the concept of risk in the same way we think about the concept of change. Specifically a change we have to do, for whatever reason. Making a change in our life, whether it’s a job, moving to a new home, starting or ending a relationship, reaching out to someone in a new way, or speaking up for ourselves in ways that are new to us, is all a risk. Even being in therapy can be a risk, you have no idea what types of Jedi mind tricks I might try to pull (spoiler alert, absolutely none, I’m pretty up front about my therapeutic ways).
Now take a moment to look at your life through a critical lens. I want you to focus on one thing in your life right now that you’ve been considering changing and pretend for a minute you already made the change, you’ve already taken the risk. You already gave your boss that two weeks notice, or you told your roommate that you’re moving out. Maybe you’re taking a pay cut for a job that allows you more freedom or you’ve decided to break up a friendship that became more draining than content. Whatever it is, pretend you’ve already done the hard part, you’ve already taken the risk. What does your life look like now? What is different in your life? What is better or worse, or are things about the same just changed in a new direction? Take notice of how your mind feels in this “new” space, can you notice a change in the tension in your body? You may actually feel more tense as you adjust to this new experience, or maybe you find yourself feeling less tense as you’ve lost something that was holding you back.
Now look back on the past year and any changes you made, any actual risks you’ve already accomplished. Can you see some examples when outcomes were varied or maybe didn’t end up the way you would have wanted them to when you made choices? Did your choices fully reflect who you are or were they made in a reactionary way rather than a deliberate way? Looking back, was the change you made worth it and will you make the same choice if faced with the same situation again? Can you see the stops you took to make the change and how it played out for you? Now, take a few moments to really experience what it would be like to make the next change you are thinking of for this year. Keep that feeling in your brain, in an accessible place, whenever you start to doubt yourself or talk yourself out of making the change.
Mindfully- Meredith
PS: Speaking of risks, I’ve had a few people recently reach out to me about therapy in NYC and I wanted to share this lovely therapist’s contact info. I am not licensed in NY so as much as I’d love to be able to continue to work with people who are moving from NJ to NY, I cannot. Here’s a resources for you if you happen to fall into that category.